Bottom in the Barrow
by GodEmperorTrump
Summary: Exactly what it says on the tin. But first some background. This is not my actual fanfiction. In fact, I found this in the form of a nine page manuscript during my trip to Lebanon, written in beautiful Arabic. Thankfully I managed to get it translated and published to for all fans and children to behold. Enjoy!
1. Dipper Exposed!

"Are you sure about this?"  
"Oh come on, Dipper, it's not like I haven't seen your bare butt before!"  
He pulled his pants down, revealing his white briefs as he faced away. He became hesitant.  
"This is humiliating."  
"Dude, I don't know why you're complaining. You have the cutest butt ever. Plus I know it's awkward, I just want the shot over with so I don't have to see your ass again".  
The thought of such an emasculated Dipper did make her mind go wild, which was expressed in a brief but almost threatening burst of giggles.  
"Fine, just...give me a second, okay?"  
His second lasted about two painful minutes.  
"Alright, that's it, I can't stand seeing your tighty whities getting in the way of your adorable little posterior."  
She grabbed onto the waistline of the briefs and Mabel stripped Dipper of his little dignity, feasting her eyes on the cheeks that befell her sight. She squealed as the poor boy cringed and let out a scream.  
"Okay, you little cheeky misfit," she said as she pinched Dipper's buttcheek, "We're gonna get you treated!"  
She then wove Dipper's liberated tighty whities in the air, as if it were a trophy.  
"So Grunkle Stan said I need to get these injections on my...uhhh..." he blushed "on my rear. Mabel I have never felt this uncomfortable in my entire life, can we please just get it over with?!"  
"Not so fast, Mason. I've waited this long to see it, I'm going to enjoy every second of it!"  
"...Do you even know how to perform this? Or did you really just want to see my butt? Confess!" Now it was Dipper who was smiling, though rather meekly, and Mabel who blushing about her total lack of subtlety in that department.  
"No I nev-SOOS, I NEED ASSISTANCE!"  
As revenge, Mabel did end up taking a couple of pictures of Dipper's bare butt, the most nude one, of course, managing to make it into her scrapbook.  
Soos was sleeping underneath the Mystery Shack counter. He hurriedly woke up and rose to the counter, unfortunately at eye level with Dipper's hanging buttocks.  
(As an aside, Dipper is bending over right now in the gift shop, where it's technically broad daylight outside, so...)  
He screamed and proceeded to smack Dipper's cheeks with a baseball bat. Dipper yelped in pain, and Soos soon remembered that today was the day.  
"Dood, sorry about hitting your ass, I thought that we were facing the enslavement of the human race by butts. Not that it would be a bad thing to happen..."  
"It's fine, Soos, it's been a rough day." Dipper sighed.  
"What's the matter, bro? You look like you've been assaulted by a madma-oh...well, if it makes you feel any better, it can't get any worse, right?"  
"It's just, no one takes me seriously."  
"Well it's hard to take you seriously when your derriere is right in front of our faces!" He and Mabel began laughing but it certainly was no fun for Dipper."  
Mabel was becoming worried. She whispered into his ear, "Hey, no hard feelings, none of this makes you any less cool." Dipper was comforted.  
"I just wish Stan had taken me to an actual doctor. If only he wasn't on vacation..." he said begrudgingly.  
Soos was preparing the needle. Soos was ready to finally get the damn injection over with and deliver Dipper from his miserable existence. But just as he was about to go for the kill...  
Wendy came in.  
Dipper's heart sank lower than could ever be possibly imagined. Some later commentators could even say it sank to the bottom of the barrel, where those emotions associated with shame, guilt, and disgust reside under a blanket of dust and worn-out Holy Mary prayers.  
His ass, Dipper's ass, was what met the virgin eyes of Wendy as she entered the door, expecting another normal, boring day at the Mystery Shack.  
However, Wendy made little note of it. She was shocked, had gathered some second-hand embarrassment but threw it into the trash.  
She was more curious than anything.  
Dipper was not. Out of madness he yelled,  
"Everything's fine Wendy, everything's fine. I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, so, so, SO sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry..."  
Dipper was very visibly crying while everyone else gazed with amazement. He began trying to get up and trying to pull up his pants (without underwear as Mabel was clutching it in her hands). He desperately tried covering his ass by turning and facing Wendy. But that only further exposed him and his nudity. When Wendy saw Dipper's face she saw nothing but pure misery, tears and incoherent sobbing.  
"We have no choice, girls, we'll have to detain him", Soos suggested. Upon hearing this, Dipper made a run for it, still trying to pull up his pants. He tripped at least twice in the process before fully retreating to his and her sister's bedroom. He was mooning everyone; Wendy, Mabel, and Soos can now proudly write in their memoirs that they've seen everything Dipper has to offer, visually.

Mabel and Soos stayed there, dumbfounded beyond belief.  
"I'm going to go up there, guys", Wendy exclaimed proudly after a long period of sheer silence. Mabel and Soos extrapolated on how that would be a horrible idea, and begged her to wait.  
"Don't you get it, guys? This is all on me. I know he was getting a medical injection in his bum, and he clearly felt more comfortable with you two than with me. No, I am the only person who has any right to intervene!" Soos and Mabel wished her luck. Mabel in particular reached out and gave Wendy the underwear she held.  
"What's this for?" She knew it was Dipper's, heck it had his name written on it, but her reaction was that of a confuzzled variety.  
"As a momento. Please, just give it to him."  
Wendy entered the staircase into the bedroom, where Dipper was at and where his sobbing continued to echo the house.

Wendy's first impression was that Dipper's room sure was messy. Its messiness reminded her a lot of her younger brothers. Clothes and books were thrown all over the floor. Wendy was still unsure of what to do with the pair of tighty whities Mabel had handed her.  
"Huh, guess I'll leave them at his drawer."  
She went to the drawers and opened a bunch of them before coming across the one where it pertained. She meant to left it there alongside other, equally tight and equally white briefs. But something caught her eye.  
"A diary?" She gleamed at the little blue book that was in the middle of all the jumbled underwears. It looked nothing like Journal #3. In fact it looked nearly identical to hers. To make sure it wasn't actually her diary that Dipper stole (being the little creep he is), she was obligated to take a peek, no matter how degrading it would be. But hey, Wendy had just seen Dipper's bare butt.  
She read Journal Entry #1:  
"Dear diary, LOL I love being with Wendy so much! She's very hot and I think she has a nice body! Too bad she hangs out with that jerk Robbie! I wonder if Robbie has seen her nude? I wish she would stop treating me like a little kid. Also, why do I always have to be humiliated in front of her?! Seriously, first the Lamby Lamb Dance Song, then that time I accidentally hit her in the eye...It's like the world has it out for me..."  
His diary was interesting in that almost every entry in it was about her. Not Stan, not Soos, not even Mabel, his twin sister...pure 'Wendy this, Wendy that', with only occasional glimpses of other people. She couldn't decide whether to find that flattering or disturbing. She took the diary with her, to prove that Dipper had nothing to hide. Nothing to hide physically, or emotionally.

She went to the attic, where Dipper had run out of tears to shed. But it was beginning to replenish again by the mere sight of her.  
"Go away! I'm so sorry Wendy, sorry sorry sorry-"  
Wendy closed his mouth with her hand.  
"Shh, come down, come down, I'm here for you bro."  
This course of action came as a pleasant surprise to Dipper, and seemed to have broken his almost hypnotic sadness.  
Dipper, after a couple of wasted minutes, started to speak again.  
He sighed and said with genuity. "I'm sorry, Wendy, I really am. I'm sorry you had to see my bare ass, Wendy, I'm sorry if it offended you. I just don't want you to treat me any less cruelly…"  
Wendy laughed out loud, startling Dipper and his more serious tone. "Are you kidding man?!" She gleefully punched Dipper's shoulder. "It's only your butt. It's not the end of the world, the sky isn't falling. Seriously, you need to chill. And you also need to be more comfortable with your nudity man!"  
"I-I-I-I-I..." Wendy slapped Dipper after a long segment of stuttering.  
"I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO HUMILIATE MYSELF! I wanted to look cooler in front of you, I never wanted to be naked! Because...I love you, Wendy…" He seemed very close to breaking down again; the inflections in his voice were omens.  
Wendy, having hidden his diary and underwear behind her back, now brought them to the forefront.  
"I believe these belong to you." Dipper was mortified.  
"W-what is that?" He pointed at the diary.  
"It's your diary. I've read it. Don't worry, I also put my diary in my underwear drawer, it's not weird." She quickly resumed as she saw Dipper become more agitated than ever before, especially with that underwear comment placed there. "You're obsessed with me, you little dork. I understand why you're so upset. You want to look badass and macho, is that not correct?"  
Dioper solemnly nodded.  
"Well you are neither of those things. You are a wimpy 12 year old. And that's what I like about you."  
Out of nowhere, she went up to Dipper's face and kissed his lips for a good ten second smooch.  
Dipper now felt all his issues, the tantrum he had rehearsed, the humiliation he had received, vanished. His face was red, he was blushing for the excitement.  
After she stopped kissing him, Dipper was at long last freed. Wendy handed him his briefs.  
"I believe these are yours. Don't worry, Mabel has always told me you wear briefs. And I don't mind." She smiled and Dipper smiled back though in a somewhat demeaned manner.  
"Put them on." She stated bluntly.  
"B-but...I don't want to-"  
"Shut up, you little freak of nature." Out of the blue she started her usual plaid attire, and her undershirt, off, revealing only a bra.  
She then pulled down her pants. She faced away and pulled down her pink underwear and she was now mooning Dipper's face, much like Dipper unintentionally mooned her.  
Her freckled backside caught the eyes of Dipper's virgin eyes, triggering a shameful boner. But there was something else about those pair of cheeks whose attention was sufficiently directed to.  
It was a tattoo.

Wendy found a chair to lean to in order to begin her monologue, while still letting Dipper enjoy the fruits of her ass.  
"You want to know something truly embarrassing? There was this one time when I was pantsed with almost everyone behind me. Now, what did happen? Everyone saw my butt, but they also saw my butt tattoo and started spreading rumors that I was a slut!" Her tattoo was one that resembled a bunch of swirls and spirals, like a never ending maze of perpetual confusion. "People became mesmerized. So they began spreading this stupid rumor, that I was a slut, and then Brandon decided to break up with me and soon ALL of my former friends abandoned me." Her eyes were swelling. "They said 'I knew you were a whore, you always flirt with everyone!' before they began tying me to the ground, stripping me naked, and spanking me. 'Oh you like that, huh?! Typical…' before abandoning me at the mercy of all the cute boys who now hated me!"  
She was sobbing merely recalling her past. She now turned around and took off her bra. Wendy was now fully naked. "That was when I was twelve years old."  
"H-how did you get the tattoo?" Dipper said with some uncertainty and shyness. After all he had never seen any girl nude to such an extent, including Mabel. Her breasts shone with the fire of a thousand and one suns, and similar to her bum they were the gift that kept on giving; to his eyes that is.  
"Truth is, I don't know. It's been there for as long as I could remember. But thankfully my mom let our family move here to this town called Diamond Is Unbreakable." She sighed. "How I miss my mom…"  
Dipper got over his anxiety and reached out to Wendy's hand, smiling, "I'm here for you."  
"You're so adorable, Dipper."  
She began putting her clothes back on, and sooner than later she was as fully clothed as later.  
"Well, now it looks like we're on an even ground, aren't we, Dipper?"  
"...Yes, we are".  
"Now put your underwear on."  
"But I thought-"  
"Now that you've seen my butt I get to see yours.  
After all he did have to take off his pants, seeing as he was, for all intents and purposes going commando at this point.  
He took off his pantsed and faced away, putting on the underwear that Mabel had given him. Wendy took a picture of Dipper's bare ass, much to Dipper's consternation.  
"Don't worry." She took off her pants again and mooned Dipper. "Take a picture of mine too." He did.  
Wendy set that picture of Dipper's derriere as her lock screen, and similarly Dipper chose Wendy's derriere as his lock screen. They both realized this and laughed.  
"Y-you know what would be a great idea?! How about we write on each other's bodies!"  
"What now?" Wendy asked in confusion.  
"Since no one else will see our posteriors, how about we write secrets on them?"  
"...Okay. Dude, you're just looking for excuses to look at my ass, aren't you?"  
But she complied. She had always been more of an exhibitionist. Dipper wrote secrets on Wendy's butt and breasts, Wendy wrote her secrets on Dipper's bare behind. It was a very rewarding experience.  
They were giggling like crazy at the end of it all.  
"Thanks for that extra support, Wendy...I really needed it." He blushed and smirked.  
"No problem. By the way, I know it might sound a bit creepy to say this, but you really do have an adorable bum" Dipper's face flushed an even deeper shade of red; but it was worth it.

Mabel, having become bored, looked at the injection that Soos meant to give Dipper. She measured the ingredients and concluded that it was actually poison.  
"Are you serious, Soos?! You could have killed my brother!"  
"It wasn't my fault it was Stan's he gave me that injection specifically" He hastily and rather suspiciously looked at his watch.  
"Oh look it's time to go I need to go to Abuelita bye"  
He left. Now it was getting to be dusk. Mabel looked at the picture she had taken of Dipper and his nudity, and giggled, having full control of her twin brother.  
"Send this to Grenda, send this to Candy, send this to...Pacifica? Sure whatever. Don't see why not, honestly." It was an invitation for a party they were holding tonight, each attached with the pictures.  
"Wow Dipper was so dumb. He actually fell for it! Tonight will be big...make-up, cheap cameras, lights, camera, ACTION! This will be a night my girls will never forget. And neither will you, bro-bro…"  
She searched and found a photo on her phone of his actual face, and his actual cheeks. "I will make you remember forever." She traced Dipper's captured smile, took out his Journal 3, and began preparing…

TO BE CONTINUED (or probably not, unless I get horny enough again)

[So that was the translated version that the Arabs had sent me. Whether or not there is a continuation to this story is still but a great mystery. I will try my damnest to find the author and give him the credit he deserves for writing this masterpiece. Alas, for now it will remain incomplete.]


	2. Update

[Update #2: Apparently a man named Abdul al-Hazmi from Palestine has claimed ownership of the manuscript that I had found in that abandoned Lebanese junkyard. We are already arranging a meeting, here in the United States. Believe it or not, he has the second part of the story written down alreasy (as well as the third part) and he'd be happy to share it with us. May Allah guide us the right path.]


End file.
